Summer of 2000, I was a single mom of two little girls….Victoria was 2 years old and Alex was 3 months old. I was leaving all that was known, familiar and comfortable to me. I was leaving small town Roswell, New Mexico for something I knew would be hard, stretching and very uncomfortable. I was headed out, to bigger and better things. Dallas, Texas….Here I come!!!
At the time, I had no idea how my mom and dad were processing this reality. I am pretty sure worry; fear, concern and even excitement consumed them. Later, my mom shared with me that she would just think of the colder months and how early I had to leave for work and how hard it was going to be for me….I know my mom meant well for worrying for me but my Heavenly Father knew exactly what He was doing. While my mom was worrying about those cold days my heavenly Daddy placed an older gentleman in my life. His name was Mr. Rogers, he was 80 years young and became a very dear friend to me. He used to come upstairs to my apartment, grab my keys to my car to start it and get the heater going. Then he would come back up and get Alex (who was in a car seat at the time) take her down and then I would come down with Victoria. I firmly believe that God places angels among us. “Don’t neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it.” Hebrews 13:2
I believe Mr. Rogers was an angel among my girls and I.
What my mom couldn’t comprehend at the time was that she and my dad did well, they were faithful. They raised a young woman who made some mistakes and wasn’t perfect but was their daughter who they did their very best with. They believed in me, they encouraged me daily, they spoke life into me, loved deep and unconditional, forgave daily and had grace. They had raised me for such a time as that very day that I packed up my bright little red Ford Focus with my two baby girls heading to Dallas! My Heavenly Father was so pleased with them, for doing their best, letting go of me to spread my wings and to fly into ALL that He had in store for me. This scripture comes to mind- “well done, good and faithful servant” Matthew 25:23
This week I left my daughter, Victoria 800 miles away from me…that sweet little girl that was once 2 years old when we set out from our comfort zone into something new and exciting! Tonight, everything that has been comfortable, known and familiar to her will change. She is taking a next step with Jesus to bigger and better things! She has let go of all the good that God had for her to receive all the GREAT that He has for her….the same thing is true for me. Our relationship is a very good relationship but I know that in this new season that our relationship will turn into a GREAT relationship. Now, I am not saying that it will be easy (as I am crying and writing this) but I know that our Daddy is with us both 800 miles apart and He has knitted our hearts in such a unique way.
I never understood my momma’s heartache in releasing me…releasing me and trusting our Daddy that He was with me every step of the way. Until last Friday when I drove away from my baby girl!!! My heart aches….my heart is sad, heavy….and among all those my heart is excited, overwhelmed, and anticipating a new season. My prayer for this new season is this, that I would know a new joy in the deep pain of releasing…I am handing her over to the complete, unchanging, infinite, protection of God! I trust Him to always be there with her and watch over her.
You see, it’s a new season! He is doing a new thing! Letting go of the good things to receive His GREAT things!!!
Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:19
Praying fervently for all the mommas & daddy’s in this new season of releasing. May you find His comfort enveloping and His peace like a blanket.
Huge Ol’ Hugs!